holding hands

holding hands is a ridiculously enjoyable activity. my first rememorable (i know that's not a word) hand hold was in eighth grade. i admit that i was an early bloomer, but i am happy to have gotten so much experience over the past 8 years! my first hand hold and all subsequent ones till post mission consisted of me suspecting that the girl liked me and then just kind of taking the shot. we all know the psychological thriller (shall we say "murderer"?) this is for a guy--i shan't go into that. let's just say that i have spent a cumulative total of approximately 10 hours deciding whether or not i should go for the hand hold or not. those 10 hours constitute the 10 most stressful hours of my life, including all mission and scholastic situations.

a story:

senior year of high school. i ask kirsten to prom at a script read through that we were doing for a show we were in (noises off). she says yes. (kirsten and i had been in the school musical for the 2 months previous to this episode, so i had had my eye on her for quite some time.) the entire cast then watches the movie of the show in my basement. because our basement was a tad bit nippy, the lot of use that were on the couch decided to throw a blanket over top us, so as to keep us warm. i had of course strategically placed myself next to kirsten in the hope that i might somehow go for the hand hold. about 40 minutes into the movie, once we had already thrown the blanket over us, i decide to go for it. at this point, we're holding the blanket up to about neck height, so our arms were in some kind of fold under the blanket. my thinking, therefore, was that, because no one else could see our hands, i would extend my left arm (since i was on her left, folding my arms), and grab her right hand. it was a perfect plan. HOWEVER, when i go for the hold, i grab no hand--i instead grab her BLASTED ELBOW! a plan miserably foiled and failed. i quickly retract my hand, in the intense hope that she has not noticed that i had attempted to hold her hand. i get that empty, nervous feeling in my chest--you know, that one where you just kind of say to yourself "oh crap, dude, i totally just wasted ALL hopes of getting this girl." however, for some odd reason, despite my surety that kirsten now thought she had a simply awkward prom date, i proceed to ask her out not a day later; four days later, we're dating.

that was a just kind of a funny story.

at this point in life, i don't really think hand holding normally occurs until both parties have indulged in some kind of dtr, which i support whole-heartedly; i think that the whole dating game is much too much a guessing game and so many people treat it trivially. that's a post for another day though.

and those are my thoughts on hand holding.